$10 Billion. That is the amount spent by Americans on SELF-help in the year 2017 and the number continues to grow. I am guessing some of that money came out of your own pocket. Evidently, we all need and want help. I know I do. I need help tamping down my pervading fears. I need help elevating depression into over-flowing joy. I need help getting motivated to accomplish something. I also need help slowing down. I need help in my battles with anger and judgmental nature. We would probably all agree that this life we’ve been given, while of great value, brings with it some pretty monumental struggles and confusion. If you aren’t cued in on the angst out there, you’re not paying attention. Aching identity and needy guidance questions are petitioned on social media all day long every day. From obsessively edited selfies to tweeted tirades, we are publicly shouting out loud our desperate need for help. We lie, cheat, steal, insult, and wantonly join groups formed solely to power up hatred, all in response to our human misery. We are some kind of a messed up, confused, unstable wrecks, even those considered “the best of us”. If only we could proverbially shake out our rugs, clean our houses, straighten out our thinking and solve our problems. After thousands of years of human effort, should we even hope for help and change? What if there actually existed a resource where a messed up, confused, miserable person could go for absolutely guaranteed solutions, unadulterated wisdom and simple yet complete instructions for our best life now. Would people go and resource this “guaranteed” self-help? Would they then stick with this help long enough to achieve the promised foolproof results? Evidently, no, they would. not. Instead, we continue our spiral into spiritual and emotional and physical chaos, even those who claim to have all the right answers. There is a how-to guide book on living your best life now currently in publication and you probably even know exactly what it is. So, the obvious question has to be, why are so few people regularly accessing this incredible and valuable information? If you’re reading this blog, you’ve surely guessed that I am referring to what we traditionally call the Holy Scriptures or The Bible. Why is it that we are completely ignoring and neglecting this one-of-a-kind resource and instead spending $10 billion on limited, unproven and somewhat hokey advice? I ask this because: “All Scripture is God-breathed” Yes, the Bible itself tells us that ALL of it, every single word of it was breathed out by our Creator God. ELOHIM ( אֱלֹהִים ) is what He calls Himself as He breathes out the first of His recorded words. The Bible’s words are His breathings-- the very One who created neutrons and protostars and behemoths. He created all of it and then opened His mouth and breathed out interstellar, or rather inter-cosmos communications with the culmination of His Creation (that would be you and me). How on earth are these breathings being ignored by the mass majority? Should we not at least pursue these words of God with the same intensity and excitement as say, other possible extra-terrestrial messages? “The Lord’s word is flawless;” There are no errors. While humanity might think they’ve found errors, there are none according to the Author. Our feeble minds do not compare with His. Annoyed by this, mankind is constantly attempting to bring the Lord’s Word into disrepute. If you claim to accept that the Bible author is actually our Creator, that men were moved along by Him to write what He breathed out, then the next level of faith is to believe that in His Sovereignty, He can and does present to us that which is TRUE. All of it. Every fact, every prescription, every word. I promise, if you fully realize that this is one place you can go where there are no lies, that everything He says is true, then not only will it change your life, but His Words will become your most prized possession. “I am God, and there is none like Me; declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things that are not yet done; saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.” Furthermore, I can settle into full faith in the Words of the Bible with no questions or qualms when I realize that it is self-authenticating. God put his cosmological fingerprint on scripture. He wove the future into almost every page! We should shake off our mental laziness and think about this: The God of the Universe who is not bound by any limits of time or space, knew exactly how history would go, could give vivid details of important future events thousands of years before they happened. By conservative estimates, there are over 300 prophecies recorded from ancient times that were correctly and specifically fulfilled in the life of Jesus of Nazareth and that is only a portion of prophecy in scripture. This fingerprint of God in the Bible, a knowing that only someone unbound by time would have, proves that it is truly Him communicating to us. Why would I not want to know what He is saying? For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart. There is so much in this book for you and me. There is so much to discover about who God is. There is so much to discover about who I am and how my brain and heart work. There is an eternal adventure to start living today in relationship with your Creator which you are largely missing if you aren’t in His Word. Making it part of every single day builds perspective of life you can’t get anywhere else. It offers the privilege of developing His perspective. We get to live inspired, to have His heart within us and to live free of the desperation that plagues our race. Are you still mentally and spiritually asleep or is pursuing God through voracious study of His Word already changing your life? Lori Grizzell is a lover of the Word. She works beautifully alongside her husband, Kenneth, in ministry in Bowling Green, KY. Lori and Kenneth have 3 grown kids with expanding families! They have blessed so many lives from California to Florida, Tennessee to Kentucky and many in between! 1 https://www.forbes.com/sites/julesschroeder/2017/02/03/imposter-syndrome-why-youre-successful-but-still-not-satisfied/#184c1e8c342b 2 2 Peter 1:21; 2 Samuel 23:2; Jeremiah 23:26; Ezekiel 1:3; Micah 1:1; Luke 1:70 … [Read more...]
Guest Post: Finding More through Loss
So I’m reading this book Grieving with Hope my friend Linda recommended when I find in it a woman whose friend has encouraged her to “lean into” grief, to “take it like waves of an ocean.” Her friend advises, “Don’t try to run from it. Don’t try to numb it. Don’t try to pretend it isn’t so. It’s part of your life, so feel everything. Smell everything. Be in all the moments.” This sounds to me like those women who say natural childbirth is a spiritual experience. I’m skeptical. But then my wise friend Katelyn says on Facebook, “I’m not sure grief is something to rush past. It’s not a sickness from which I need to recover.” I wonder what she means, why anyone would want to grieve for even one minute longer than is completely necessary. She says, “Maybe grief ought to be something we learn to endure and embrace.” Endure and embrace. I hold these words in my hand, rolling them around like marbles, listening to the clink of their collision. Endurance I understand. I think of growing up in Florida on the coast, of hunkering down when the weatherman suggests evacuation. Enduring looks like staying put, braving the strong winds, mustering up courage, lighting candles when the power goes out. In grief, we hardly have a choice—we can run for a while, but eventually, endure we must. But embrace? What does it look like to embrace a storm? And why would I ever want to? I’m staring at this question on my computer screen when I remember the late night a few years ago when, in an especially trying season and particularly dramatic mood, I stood in the middle of my street in the middle of a downpour. Tired of running from the rain, I held my arms out wide, turned my face to the sky, and cried, “God, I don’t understand what’s happening, but I receive it. Show me what to do with it.” I said amen, and lightning like filament lit the sky. Perhaps we embrace a storm when we realize both that we can’t outrun it and that maybe there’s something in it to receive. A minister friend of mine, Tim, lost his wife to cancer a couple of years ago. My husband knew Tim to be a wise and courageous man, and so he asked Tim if he could talk on camera about the loss, about what he was doing to navigate grief. Tim agreed. In the video Tim sits at his kitchen table drinking coffee alone, telling the story of his wife’s brain tumor and too early death. He says,“I know that God does some of his best work in the desert, so I didn’t want to rush through it. I didn’t want to find the shortcut. I wanted to experience everything that God wanted me to experience through this.” I stop here almost every time I watch the video, and I’ve watched it a dozen times. I wasn’t wise like Tim when my brother died in a car accident when he was 20 and I was 21. I spent too many months and years pushing grief away, hiding from it, hiding it. I looked for every shortcut. I wasn’t expecting God’s hand in grief like Tim did, but nevertheless, despite my best efforts, I did, in my grief, find something to receive. The idea of enduring and embracing grief assumes grief has something to offer, that in it God has plans. The person who chooses to endure and embrace grief decides that God will do with this loss what he always does with insult, injury, pain, hardship, weakness, and tragedy—he’ll use it. When my brother Bobby died, my mother couldn’t stop quoting Romans 8:28. She said it was Bobby’s favorite scripture. I couldn’t remember if it was or wasn’t, and at first, the words made me angry: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” All things? Really? How exactly was God going to make this death good? Good for Bobby, maybe, the hope of heaven and everything. But for me? How could this be good for me? Later I’d spend time reading the whole of Romans chapter 8, and I’d discover suffering like mine, worse than mine even, was the exact context of this verse. Earlier in the chapter, Paul wrote, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” His “present sufferings” included death threats and beatings, prison time, watching friends martyred for their faith. He says those sufferings are nothing compared to the transformation God is enabling in his children. Romans8:28 says it’s in the suffering that God is making things good. It’s in the suffering that God is making us good. In the book of James, Jesus’s brother opens his letter with these words: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (1:2–4). Again, God accomplishes transformation through hard things. This time James identifies perseverance, enduring, and counting it joy, embracing, as the recommended path through pain. We could easily summarize James’s message with the words “endure and embrace” in order to welcome the gift of maturity and completion. This idea, that pain is the path to something better, winds its way throughout the gospels, culminating in the cross and resurrection. Jesus dies in order to live. He dies in order that we might live and be transformed into his image. Watching Jesus hang upon the cross— bloody, tired, enduring, and embracing his mission of suffering— Jesus’s disciples would likely have remembered his words, “Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me” (Matt 10:38). Purposeful suffering is the way to God and the way to glory. Death is a path to life. There’s hope here if we have the stomach for it. Though we rarely return to normal after a loss and though we never completely recover, we do have the chance to let our grief achieve “for us an eternal glory” (2 Cor 4:17). In grief, we find the potential for gain, an opportunity to grow and build. While what’s after loss will never be the same as what came before loss, what’s after may very well be better. That’s God’s promise. Can I be frank and human for a moment? For me, that’s been hard to swallow. We read passages like the ones above and wonder, “Is God saying,‘Get over it; your pain is good for you’? Or ‘Drink your cup, and don’t complain’?” I don’t think so, because when I see God interact with the grieving in scripture, he’s the one crying. Jesus resurrects three people in his time on earth: the son of a widow, the daughter of a Jewish leader, and one of his best friends. No one asks Jesus to resurrect the boy, but Jesus interrupts a funeral procession anyway because he’s moved by the mother’s grief. Luke the evangelist describes the scene: “When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her” (Luke 7:13). With the Jewish leader’s daughter, Jesus tells the gathered crowd of mourners to stop crying because the girl isn’t dead but asleep (Luke 8:52). The assumption in his words is that grieving for the dead is right and good. When Jesus raises his friend Lazarus, he famously weeps (John 11:35). He weeps not for Lazarus who he will soon bring back to life; he weeps upon encountering the grief of Lazarus’s friends and family. When Jesus’s own cousin dies at the hand of Herod, he withdraws to be alone and pray (Matt 14:13). Even God feels the sting and bears the sadness of loss. God doesn’t applaud when people die, already anticipating the good work of grief to come. He doesn’t expect you to be happy when your loved ones die, excited about the potential of your loss. No, God mourns with you. Death, after all, is God’s enemy. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, “The last enemy to be destroyed is death” (15:26). In the new creation described in Revelation 21, John of Patmos hears a declaration from heaven, a sort of mission statement for the New Jerusalem. Jesus, speaking from the throne, says two important things about what this new world will be like. He says (1) God’s dwelling is now among the people. And (2) “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” God doesn’t like loss any more than you do. Grief is the shrapnel of enemy fire, lodging itself deep in our hearts. But God, always stubborn in the face of his enemies, refuses to hand over the victory to death; so he examines the fragments of the enemy’s weapon and repurposes them. He looks at grief and says,“I can do something with that.” If we’ll let him, God will make something good out of our grief. He won’t tell us to stop crying. He’ll simply ask us to let our tears water the soil of our lives, soil pregnant with potential. In Psalm 126 I read, Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. It sounds too good to be true, but I do carry sheaves and sing songs. I have gone out weeping, and I have seen a harvest of wisdom and transformation, of new life. In my grief I am less, robbed of my person. And in my grief I am made more, receiving God’s … [Read more...]
9 Tips & Tools to Improve Productivity
For years I worked in a healthcare setting in which my success was determined by my time productivity. The expectation was to be (X)% productive each day (and X was an EXTREMELY high percentage!). The only % of my day that was considered productive was the time in which I had face to face interaction with patients. I did not particularly love the pressure of that and had a difficult time getting out of that mode at the end of the day. However, I think there is a part of all of us that like to look back at our day and feel productive. If I have spent my time each day reaching "max productivity", I will have spent time with the Lord, completed all my duties for work, spent quality time with my kids, invested in my husband, cared for our home, reached out to friends, chatted with my family, checked the mail, paid the bills, chauffeured the kids to their practices, prepared 3 meals + snacks x 5 in our tribe, helped everyone with homework, reviewed all the papers that came home in the folders, checked my calendar for anything extra and bathed my kids and myself in some form or fashion. The never-ending list can be exhausting, overwhelming, impossible, all the things. Not too long ago, at the advice of someone else much wiser than myself, I took a time inventory. I recorded at the end of every hour what I had spent time doing in that hour. Those hours in the day I thought I needed more of?? I was wasting A LOT of them. Not wasting them as in using them for a time of rest- just wasting them doing things that were meaningless to myself or anyone else. Hopefully, we do not put pressure on ourselves to "produce" every moment of every day. There is a balance. But when we use our time wisely for things that matter, we are productive. It is 2019 and the resources at our fingertips are abundant. Here are 9 tools that make my life easier: 1)GOOGLE CALENDAR: I had always been a big Erin Condren fan. I LOVE a paper planner. I like to write with all the colored Flair pens. I like to flip the pages and see what's ahead and what is complete. Unfortunately, I can't carry it everywhere and I would forget to add important happenings to my calendar! The result in an often frazzled brain + no written trace that I need to be at X place at X time? nada. nothing. I miss it. (insert important thing like picking up a kid here!!) I tried Cozi and Apple's calendar first. No good for me. I have been using Google Calendar for over a year and it is $$$$$$!! I can color-code by family member, add the location of events, view the whole month/week/day, and even share with the hubs! I can officially proclaim that digital calendar-ing is the way to go. 2) SLEEP CYCLE APP: Ever think you could be more productive if you didn't wake up feeling like you took a nose dive off the wrong side of the bed? I have been using Sleep Cycle for over 5 years and LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! According to Sleep Cycle's website, "Waking up easy is all about timing. Sleep Cycle alarm clock tracks your sleep patterns and wakes you up during light sleep. Waking up during light sleep feels like waking up naturally rested without an alarm clock...Your movements vary with each sleep stage. Sleep Cycle uses sound analysis to identify sleep states, tracking your movements in bed. Sleep Cycle uses a wake-up phase (30 minutes by default) that ends at your desired alarm time. During this phase, Sleep Cycle will monitor signals from your body to wake you softly when you are in the lightest possible sleep stage (stage 1-2)." (Side note- Sleep Cycle will not let you sleep past the time when you set your alarm.) The sound it makes when it wakes me up literally makes me happy to wake up! It is the real deal. I believe there is a small fee for this app, but over 5 years in- WORTH.IT. 3) MEAL PLANNING + GROCERY APPS: HELLO, My name is Tiffani and I am here to say that I have always struggled with spending way too much time and money on groceries. I go in with a list and come out with WAY more than I needed. I get home and we either consume something we did not need or it sits in the pantry/fridge until its expiration. INSERT WalMart grocery app, Shipt, and Instacart into my life. (If I knew how to insert an angel emoji here, I would!!!) I try to meal plan 1 month at a time (I also make this visual to the family so they know- and my 6 year old son shares the info with the non-readers in the fam). I normally do a big grocery trip around every 2 weeks. Once I make my meal plan, I write down the ingredients I need and just click through and order. I order the bulk from Wal-Mart. The items I don't like to buy from Wal-Mart or the items they might not have, I order through Shipt from Publix or Target or through Instacart from Aldi. Ordering online makes me 1) spend less time 2) spend less money and 3) spend more time on things that matter. If you are missing out on this 2019 luxury, you are TRULY missing out!! (Sorry small towners that don't have this luxury. You should totally lobby for it.) 4) SCREEN TIME APP: I wish I could count the number of times I had opened a social media app without even realizing I was scrolling. Nothing sucks up your time like social media. How did 4:45 just turn to 5:30 in what felt like 3 minutes? It was those thumb swipes up. They stole your time. And they don't give it back. There is a place and time for social media, but do not let it steal ALL your time. There are too many things bring you actual JOY. Social media will never fill you, so limit the time you spend there trying to get something it was never meant to give. The screen time app will allow you to set boundaries on how much time you spend on social apps. Set a reasonable amount of time (i.e. If you set the app for 3 minutes/day, it is doubtful you will stick to that) and utilize your self-control to stick to it! 5) CLEANING CONCENTRATES: This sounds so trivial, but until last year when we transitioned to a non-toxic/chemical-free home, I had always purchased pre-mixed cleaning products (409, Pledge, Scrubbing Bubbles, etc.) Sometimes my home doesn't feel like it, but I do A LOT of cleaning and we use A LOT of products. I was finding myself constantly running to the store to pick up a bathroom cleaner, a countertop cleaner, a stovetop cleaner, a ____ cleaner. Not only that, but I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which brands and which products were the best. Now, I have a few different bottles and the concentrates needed to mix them. I add the concentrate, add the ounces of water needed and am back in business. It takes all of 20 seconds. The concentrates have lasted us a LONG TIME and when I was thinking about what truly makes my life more productive (+ more frugal + less toxic in this case!), these concentrates definitely make the cut! (We use Shaklee, but there are lots of products with concentrates out there!) 6) EVERNOTE: My husband has used this for years, but I just recently jumped on the bandwagon. Evernote is that all in 1 app. And the free version is still insanely useful!! Know why I love it? It can READ.HANDWRITING. FOR REALS?!?! So, I can take a pic of a note I wrote and later I can search for it and it can READ MY HANDWRITING to pull up that note!!! You can save whole pages, articles, recipes, images, PDFs, and more. (Think important documents that you don't want to keep paper copies. Marie Kondo would be so proud of you.) Your clips are automatically organized with the notebooks and tags you choose. It can also help you manage your everyday tasks and projects, and even remind you so you never miss a deadline. It definitely lives up to its hype. 7) WAKE UP FIRST: I know, I know. I'm an early bird and you aren't. I've heard it all. HOWEVER, there's all the research out there to prove it. Go look it up. Waking up and having time to get yourself together, spend time in the Word, chat with Jesus before you have to face the day and all the people that HAVEN'T spent time with Jesus makes it worth the sacrifice of sleep one thousand times over. Seriously, if you want to be more productive, try starting your day a little earlier. Be the first in your home to wake up! 8) YES/NO LIST: You are one person. You were created by God for a larger purpose for His kingdom and for His glory. You were NOT created to be all things to all people. Decide what you are going to say yes to, what you are going to say no to and what your personal limits are. We were all designed uniquely. What I can accomplish in a 12 hour period is different than what you can accomplish. You can look to the left or right (or scroll at any moment that you haven't set your Screen Time timer for) and see someone that can run circles around you and someone that moves at a slower pace. You can choose to compare and judge, or you can be grateful God created YOU to be the only YOU there ever was or will be. Your time can be most productive when you create these filters in advance. Let me give … [Read more...]
The Power We Carry with our Privilege
“Oh, I get it. I understand now what you mean by slow fashion.” I had been talking with one of my seamstresses for a couple of hours already, discussing clothing and home décor and hemlines and changing styles. I pulled up my company’s website to show her the kinds of products we sold at Wearthy, and explained again the heart behind the business. Labor rights. Safe work. Quality craftsmanship over mass production. In the clothing industry, we call this slow fashion, and it’s a phrase that’s just beginning to emerge in the American marketplace. So I didn’t expect that it would resonate with Linda* as I shared unfamiliar vocabulary in a different language. She stopped me, and she asked me to explain further. And that’s when I started to talk about the Rana Plaza garment factory collapse in 2013. I told her about the working conditions of seamstresses around the world, working long hours with little to no pay in an environment Americans wouldn’t accept even for their family pets. I didn’t have to go too far. Her knowing eyes told me quickly that she was already familiar with the story I was telling. What I didn’t realize was that it was the story of her life I was telling. Linda is now a mother of four children. She manages a drug rehab center and safe house and sews out of the front room of her home to provide an extra income for her family and the people they serve. I knew Linda was an amazing seamstress. I knew she had a heart to help others. I just didn’t realize that before she was a wife, before she was a mother, and before she was running her own sewing business, she was an employee at a garment factory in our city making less than $5 per month. The memories flooded back for her, and she opened up to me about what it was like for her in the factory. Two bathroom breaks a day, with docked pay if she needed to request a toilet outside of the designated times. Occasionally working 36 hours straight, missing an entire day of sunlight while checking zippers and collars indoors at her production line. Being called and treated like a water buffalo (the most common work animal in her country), stripping away her humanity and dignity. +++ Linda’s face is what I remember every time I start to question if the risks of running Wearthy are worth the investment. I remember Linda’s face when I start to believe that I’m not strong enough, smart enough, or savvy enough to be a business owner. I see Linda’s face when I’m shopping in big box stores with piles of clothing on sale, wondering how a $5 shirt could possibly pay the retail company, the wholesale company, the shipping company, the seamstress, the designer, the cotton farmer… Because I know. A few dollars can’t cover that cost. THE MONEY WE REFUSE TO SPEND ON GOODS AT A FAIR PRICE IS EVENTUALLY PAID IN THE FORM OF EXPLOITATIVE LABOR. The privilege we have as Americans to consume can either positively or negatively impact our neighbors around the globe, and I’ve seen first-hand how it has negatively affected the health and livelihood of garment factory workers. But by providing safe work through Wearthy, I’ve also seen how the ethical production of clothing and home goods can also provide hope, ensure stability, and restore dignity in individuals, spilling over into their families. As Americans we have an incredible power to affect change: It’s called PURCHASING POWER. The way we spend our money reflects our values, and the values that are reflected in our purchases directly influence the policies and performances of the companies we choose to patron. Simply put: When we choose to buy from companies with the best ethical standards for their employees, companies with poor standards will be forced to improve the working conditions of their employees as well. Products have makers. Makers have faces. Faces have names. . . . Linda. . . . Will you join me in saying her name? Linda and Sasha and Noy and Hy and Lah… Say their names with me and imagine their faces. Those names and faces have stories. And their stories deserve to be rewritten within the context of safe work. Lauren Pinkston is currently working in SE Asia as a social enterprise consultant. She is also completing her PhD research in faith-based organizations’ regional response to human trafficking. Lauren believes that business creation is the most direct and effective way to address modern forms of exploitation, and she co-founded Wearthy in 2016 to create more jobs for people seeking safe work. Lauren has grown her family on three different continents and will travel almost anywhere for a top-notch curry. Want to know the next phase of Wearthy and how you can help?! Visit here to find out about the development of a handicraft distribution center in Laos! https://youtu.be/B2BRtgbm1Cw … [Read more...]
Words of Wisdom: Practical Examples of Spiritual Disciplines
Flashback to junior high. I wake up in the middle of the night. I have fallen asleep on top of my Bible (once again) and that prayer? I’m not sure what or if I said anything after “God, thank you for..…zzzzzzzzzzzzz.” The guilt would overwhelm me. How could I fall asleep over and over if this was really supposed to be a transformative journey with Jesus? Until one day, I heard someone say, “I pray myself to sleep.” Whew!! That’s exactly what I was doing!! Guilt-free and falling asleep to Jesus!! I was going to sleep GOOD again! I’ve got this God thing figured out. Fast forward a few years later and I had mostly abandoned all my attempts because after all, I was only just “checking a list.” And if I am going to be legalistic about it, it may as well be an X altogether. It is amazing to look back and take an honest heart check at our feeble efforts. Satan will use it all- fear, fatigue, apathy, legalism, busyness, the list gets out of hand- to separate us from the Author of these words of Truth. I have a million miles to go in the arena of spiritual disciplines. I will not claim for a single second to have anything figured out. But I am grateful that the Lord has brought some of the lies I have believed over the years to light and I know the process is continual. One thing that I hear time and time again when talking with women is their struggle with time in the Word, praying and listening to the Lord. Because I have shared the same struggle, I know how overwhelming it can be to implement these disciplines. I am a Type A, solutions-oriented, Enneagram 1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some practical advice. Ready to skip the chatter about the problem and brainstorm a solution? I am ALL.IN. LET'S.GO. The problem with that? There is no RIGHT way to dig in the Word or spend time chatting with the Lord. And what is right for me during this season may not be right for me in 5 years. Unfortunately, because we do not even know where to start, we often never do. I have enlisted the help of a few other women to share what their time in the Word and prayer looks like. And no- I am not including their names because the goal of this is NOT to play the comparison game. These women are of all different ages, races, socioeconomic classes and geographic locations. I chose them because I wanted to learn as well. We have a lot to learn from each other. A lot of times we get intimidated when someone else does something different than us. Let’s learn from each other. Maybe you can implement some of these ideas in our own time with the Lord. Or maybe this will encourage you to just find your Bible or download a Bible app. Or maybe this will prompt you to find your own ways to seek the God that offers not just LIFE, but ABUNDANT LIFE!!! Wherever you are, I hope that the wisdom from these women will inspire you to see what the Lord has in store for you through prayer and study! Here are some practical examples of ways these women spend time with the Lord: Practical Example 1: Time in the Word is an area I fight for. Having young children, if I want that time with the Lord, I have to find it. It does not find me. I wake up every morning at 5. Would I love that extra hour of sleep? Yes. For longer than I would like to confess, I avoided studying the Word because I always looked at it as a “checklist” item. What I have come to realize is that even when I am just checking my list in my own heart, God is at work. When that first kid wakes up and tries to push me over my limits before I even have time to say “Good morning!”, I am reminded of that truth that the Lord was imprinting on my heart that morning. When someone says something hurtful, I am reminded of that confession time I had this morning. It felt “checklist-ish” at the time, but the Lord was really preparing my heart to use it as a reminder of how broken I am and to extend that same grace to others. To answer what my time looks like practically: I open my old school Bible AND the app on my phone. I have discovered that I get distracted just reading, and I get distracted just listening. So I do both. (I do nothing the easy way.) I turn on the Audio on my Bible app (not loud enough to wake my kids, but loud enough for me to hear), sit my phone out of reach and follow along in my Bible. In the past, I have just gone through a book at my own pace. My goal this year is to get a full picture of the heart of God, so I am reading through the Bible chronologically. Once I finish my daily reading/listening, I am listening to a podcast by Tara-Leigh Cobble called the BIBLE RECAP. I am LOVING it!! It has me EXCITED and digging as I have never dug in the Word before. She gives a short recap and some background each day that follows along with the chronological reading plan I am studying. I am not sure if I will agree with everything she says over the course of this year, but that is ok! It is fulfilling its purpose of helping me get excited about the power of the Word and reminding me that HE really is where the JOY is! I take notes during the podcast and jot down anything that I want to go back and check or study deeper! Once I have finished reading, I write a letter to the Lord. It gives me a basis of things I want to pray for throughout the day and also serves as a reminder when I flip back through and see the ways the Lord responds. Practical Example 2: My time with the Lord has taken lots of different forms over the years, and it has changed with the seasons and rhythms of my life. I used to write in my prayer journal for as long as I needed to every single day, and I cherish reading back over those prayers (and the way God answered them). In college I spent more dedicated time in Bible study, uncovering new discoveries in the Word and fresh perspectives from my professors, peers, and various authors almost daily. Since having children, I've realized that I need more flex in my time with God, because a traditional "quiet time" just doesn't always happen. I look up Bible reading plans on my YouVersion and She Reads Truth apps and read them when I get a few minutes - over breakfast, in the school pick-up line, while my son watches Daniel Tiger. I have several Pandora stations that are different types of worship music, and it helps my heart to look to the Lord when I have that playing on Alexa or in the car. I've also come to realize that I tend to get stuck inside my head a lot and that I often struggle to put my Bible study and prayers into actual practice. I'm learning how to be better at this, though - the other day, I was reading in John when Jesus calls Himself the Bread of Life. I prayed on that and meditated, but then also decided to actually make a loaf of homemade bread. I wanted to feel it with my hands, breath in the smell filling my house, taste it on my tongue as I thought of my Savior. Other times, I've gotten up from my Bible study to send a card to a friend to whom the Spirit brought my attention, or I've opened my eyes from prayer so that I could make a donation to an organization that's working to bring God's kingdom to earth. Yoga helps immensely to still my mind and open my heart to God. I often pray for my family as I'm washing their dirty dishes or folding their laundry. I'm learning that all of this "counts" as communion with the Lord. It's a living, breathing relationship, a give-and-take of initiation and response - not at all restricted to an idealized standard of 30 minutes of Bible reading in the early morning. Practical Example 3: I’ve kept a Prayer Journal for years...just books filled with blank pages that I list prayer requests on. I don’t write out my prayer, just maybe a description of what I need to pray about/for. This could be anything...other people, myself, family, jobs, health, finances, etc. and a sentence or two highlighting what the request is for. I like having a written down record to look at to remind me what to pray for. If I find myself with some extra time in a day, this is what I pull out to talk to God about. It’s also a great source of encouragement to see Prayers that were answered! Another thing I do is put sticky notes around my bathroom mirror. On these sticky notes are the prayers that are more along the “urgent” lines...names or situations I want to bring up often in a day. Whenever I am in the bathroom I see those little sticky notes and I can pray right then for that person or situation. I pass that mirror several times a day so I can bring these things up to God quickly and keeps these things foremost in my head. As these more “urgent” requests get answered I take the sticky note off my mirror and put them in a box. I look through that box when I’m feeling particularly down or discouraged as a wonderful reminder of what specific things God has done in my life and in other’s lives. Such examples of God’s power is so faith-building...seeing His faithfulness and His love for us. When it comes to reading God’s … [Read more...]
Family Day: Our Celebration of YOU!
Today marks TWO years since we drove away from an orphanage in Hyderabad, India. After a four year journey and a lifetime of dreams, I cannot believe you have been officially ours for two years! I have re-written this post at least 14 times. Words are failing me as I try to depict both the beautiful and the tragic, both the joy and the grief, both the gain and the loss. It has been a complex journey. One that I hope to share with adequate respect soon. But for today, I have deleted every word and want to share the joy I find in this video and picture. Though it has been far from easy, this child is pure JOY and today- we celebrate YOU daughter, sister, friend. You help me see the beauty of Jesus. We have come a long way in every area imaginable. We are so grateful the SASS, SMILES, and LOVE you add to our tribe! … [Read more...]
Guest Post: The Journey of Discipleship
If you were to make a list of the 5 most influential women in your life, who would they be? Did those relationships just happen or was someone intentional? Did any of those women go the extra mile to land a spot on your list? You may have heard the phrase “more in life is caught than taught.” That is what occurs when we invest in each others’ lives- it’s the definition of discipleship. Learning from other women about how to be a wife, be a mom, and most importantly- be a child of God happens most often by investing in time together. True discipleship rarely happens sitting in a church pew or even in the classroom. Connecting with other women is a desire we experience in the depth of our souls. We want to share life experiences and spiritual experiences TOGETHER. It sounds so simple, but these desires stemming from the depths of our souls require time- and our lives are SO busy already! How in the world can we fit one more thing on our plates when they are already spilling over in every direction? Take heart sister! You weren’t created to do it all. Discipleship does not mean you have to change the whole world. It means you change the world by investing in one life at a time. Here are 4 practical tips to discipleship I have learned by being discipled and being blessed to disciple younger women over the last several years: 1. I cannot share what I do not have. There had to be some true soul searching before I could disciple anyone! I had to ask myself “What do I have to share?”; “What are my strengths?”; “What are my weaknesses?” After truthfully answering those questions I am better equipped to know what things God has used to teach me about Him. 2. Don’t judge a book by its cover! Many years ago a couple of young ladies asked me to disciple them. On the surface, they seemed so different from me and I wondered how in the world we could be a blessing to each other. I prayed about whether to enter this relationship with them and I heard a resounding “YES- you need to be in a relationship with them.” Let me say, these two young ladies are two of my best friends to this day and it makes me so sad to think about what I would have missed had I allowed surface impressions to lead my decision. 3. Where do I start when I have been led to disciple? Pray that the Spirit will lead you to know what you are being called to do. Are you needed to simply spend time with them? Do they need to be guided toward healing by the Spirit about poor choices they have made? Are you being called to lead them to a deeper relationship with God? There could be any number of other reasons, but knowing what they need is key to leading a productive discipling relationship. 4. What do I talk about when I am beginning to disciple? Find out about how they grew up and milestones of their childhood. Learn about their family in detail by learning the names of their children, what makes their family unique, and meaningful family traditions. As your relationship grows talk about the experiences that have shaped the faith of both of you. Many personal and relationship building conversations will come from these as the Spirit leads the conversations. The beauty of discipleship is that we use our differences to share our uniqueness through Christ while realizing that we have more in common than we ever could have imagined. We learn that we all come with strengths, weaknesses, successes, and failures. Living in different contexts and experiences, we stand together under the banner of Christ. We consider the joy set before us while braving the attacks of the enemy. In your journey of being discipled or being a disciple, remember that NO MATTER where we come from, NO MATTER what path God has placed us on, NO MATTER the experiences that have caused us to grow— we stand together in our need for Christ! We would love to hear your practical tips! Let us know what you have learned from someone through their discipleship or from your discipleship of others. Choose today to invest in someone else. You are never too young or too old, and you never know the ways the Lord will bless your journey together! I am so grateful for the women in my life who have been purposeful in their discipleship of me. Melody is a child of God on mission for His kingdom. She is wife to Mark, mom/mother-in-love to 3 wonderful kids and their spouses, and proud DeeDee to three beautiful grandkids. Her heart to serve stretches from her living room to Africa. Melody has lived out the Great Commision so beautifully. Her intentionality in life is a true gift to so many around her. … [Read more...]
The Table Challenge {+Bonus Recipes}
The top is an old door. You would think it would be too narrow for people to gather around it. But experience would tell me differently. The conversations, the laughs and the tears around it have been plentiful. There's those that have come and gone. There's those that have been around for the duration. We have all gathered there. It is our table. And it is something I have grown to love so dearly. I don’t love it because I think it is beautiful. It is not the nicest piece of furniture we have purchased. As a matter of fact, I bought it off Craigslist several years and three houses ago from a kind lady whose husband made her sell it because she never used it after she had it custom made. I bargained way too low of an offer thinking she would never take it. But guess what- her husband said she had to take the first offer, so off with a trailer we went!! You know why I love it? It is a space where I have seen awkward and strained relationships have hour-long conversations, where I have seen people who do not know Jesus hear words of truth, where I have cried with my best friends, where I have seen the shyest introverts pour their hearts out, where I have seen transformation after transformation. My middle go-against-every-grain-ever son was recently eating when I noticed {once again} that he had taken ALL of his food off his plate and was eating it directly from the table. I kindly asked him to return the food to his plate. The conversation went something like this: Micah: “Mom, did dinosaurs eat off of a plate?” Me: “Probably not buddy.” Micah: “Mom, have you ever seen an antelope eat off of a plate? Or a giraffe? Or a horse? Me: “No Micah, I haven’t. but you are HUMAN!! NOW PUT THE FOOD ON THE PLATE!!” Micah: “But I like to be like the animals and I don’t like plates.” Some days you just wave the white flag and pick your battles. But it did make me consider that God made us so different. Sharing life around the table IS a uniquely human experience. No other creation gathers at a table, nor does any other creation use food for anything more than sustaining life. The Lord wired us for connection. He wired us for connection with Him and connection with His creation. Life around the table is a place of connection— of vulnerability, of tearing down walls, of learning from each other, of celebrating, of blessing, of peace. All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals, and to prayer. -Acts 2.42 When I think about spiritual disciplines, I think prayer, fasting, time in the Word. I don’t consider sharing in meals to be a spiritual discipline. But it certainly appears to land itself right in the middle of a list of other spiritual disciplines in Acts 2. It’s TWO THOUSAND NINETEEN. How did that even happen? Whew!! But here we are- living in a tech-saturated, grab-dinner-in-the-car, get-to-the-next-practice, limited-face-to-face-interaction, rush-through-it-all life. It is so fast paced that we go to beds with our head spinning wondering what just happened. Perhaps Jesus knew this day was coming. Perhaps that’s why Jesus modeled table fellowship. Perhaps all along, He knew that sharing around the table nourishes us both physically and spiritually. Perhaps WE need to slow down and consider what we are eating, where we are eating and who we are eating with. Perhaps we need to practice this spiritual discipline. Scripture is packed full of this model. Remember the Passover meal? God made a covenant through Moses with Israel on Mount Sanai. There was a fellowship (or peace) offering where the offerer and his friends ate together in the presence of God. Jesus shared the Last Supper with His disciples. So many stories recorded during the ministry of Jesus involved a meal! Jesus also gathered with sinners. Visual snapshot of Luke 5/ Mark 2: Jesus says to Levi, “Follow me.” The next thing we know, Jesus is hanging out at a feast at Levi’s table. That’s where he lead him. To share a meal together with other tax collectors and sinners. Unfortunately, I would guess the number of people walking into church buildings on Sundays and finding healing is incredibly low. I’m not saying it does not happen. The Lord can work in any space He chooses. I would also guess the statistic of how many people find Jesus through a believer inviting them to sit at their table is astonishing. Life around the table is the space where sinners can find brokenness and belonging. Have I convinced you yet to start sharing life around the table? I have a challenge for you. But FIRST, let's set some rules for the challenge: Rule #1: If you are telling yourself any lies that your home isn’t big enough, clean enough, updated enough, perfect enough, fill-in-the-blank enough, write them down on a piece of paper. Then go shred it, toss it in the lake, throw it in the largest dumpster you can find. You’ll make your guests feel right at home knowing that they can bring all their imperfections into your imperfect space. Seriously, do not miss out on the blessing of life around the table because you are believing LIES that you need a perfect space. Quit looking at Pinterest and go look at the Word. Rule #2: Make a mental note or a written list of people who are NOT in your circle- people with whom you may have even chosen to draw a line in the sand. People of a different race? People of another religion? People of another denomination? People who claim a different political party? People who live on a different side of town? Even People in your family maybe? Rule #3: Make a mental note or a written list of people you want to learn from. Think about the season of life you are in. Newlywed? Single? Parent? Career-driven? Married? Adult kids? Stay at Home mom? Empty nesters? Now. Consider those who have walked before you who you want to learn from. Look at those down the road a few years from where you are. Search out those who walk wisely with the Lord. NOW FOR THE CHALLENGE— Get out your pen and calendar. Or if you’re like me, open your Google Calendar app. It is January and your calendar is not full yet. Start scheduling dates THIS YEAR that you can be intentional about sharing life around the table. Maybe you choose 2 days per month. Maybe you choose 2 days this year. Maybe you invite 1 family, 1 individual, 4 families or 10 girlfriends. Just make a goal and stick to it. Schedule time to share life with people on each of your lists you made- those that are like you AND those that are not like you. Write out their names. Invite them. Invite them today. I BET you will find that you are more alike than you are different. I am SO passionate about this. I hope you can hear that coming from my words you are reading. I have witnessed so many transformations around the table that Jesus’ presence is undeniable there. Now that you are in on the challenge, I want to make it easier for you. I REALLY do!! This is that transformative. I want to take one stress away from you to help you complete the challenge. So—let’s chat menu. You can choose peanut butter sandwiches and pretzels, communion, coffee and dessert, 5 course meal, water and crackers, breakfast/lunch/dinner. I’ve done it all. It truly does not matter. And I bet your new or old friends would say the same. Do NOT let the lie of the enemy that it's about perfection stand in your way. If you still would rather not have people around your table, choose a table at Starbucks, the park, Tazikis, or your fav cheap Mexican joint. Pick your fancy. It all works just fine. Still hanging with me and have decided to cook dinner? I have made it easier for you by sharing 5 of my go-to easy tried and true meals that you can modify for larger or smaller gatherings! These are not my personal recipes so I have shared links!: 1) Paleo Pulled Pork. It tastes like it’s been smoked! The recipe says to marinate this overnight. I’ve never once marinated and it comes out delish every single time! I will say, if you’re using an Instant Pot, you’ll want to cook at least 95 minutes. I normally do this one in my CrockPot. Serve with BBQ sauce. Sides? Chips and baked beans. Grab some buns if you want to make BBQ sandwiches. https://civilizedcavemancooking.com/recipes/pork/crockpot-pulled-pork/ 2) Fiesta Chicken! I have cooked this at least 842 times. It’s perfect because your friends can fix to their liking. Tacos, burritos, burrito bowls, nachos. It’s my go to 9 times out of 10. CrockPot, InstantPot or stovetop ALL work perfectly. Sides? Tortillas, chips, salsa, cheese and guac! https://cookiesandcups.com/slow-cooker-fiesta-chicken/ 3) Brinner! No link here, but choose a few dishes of what you like! This is sure to work for the picky eaters in your crowd as well. Who doesn't love breakfast?! Eggs, hash browns, avocado, fruit, toast, sausage, bacon, ham, pancakes, waffles, … [Read more...]
The Fruit that Changed Me
It was midweek last March. For the two billion and fifty-third time, I had declared on Monday that I would do better. I would get it together this time. But there I was, still caught in the cycle. Sometimes I would make it a month or even two. Other times it was just a few hours. A few months prior, the Lord led me through a journey of repentance. Not that “I snapped at my kids and need to regroup with Jesus” repentance. This was like months of deep diving into the heart to find that it was clogged with loads of filth. The more darkness that was brought to light, the more junk I realized I was harboring. Each time I would realize there was more sin (YES, I mean REALIZE. Did you know that your pride can keep you from seeing your own sin? Well if you’re like me, all things must be learned the hard way), I would allow myself time {read: weeks} to really reflect on the ugliness of the sin in me and work on seeking the Lord in filling those spaces. Somehow I had managed to claim Jesus for most of my life without truly understanding the need for the work of purification. It’s easy to see those areas of “outward sin” that need to be refined, but when you start dealing with the true matters of the heart, it’s easy to stuff away and pretend everything is fine. In full disclosure, it feels like you’re running full speed forward through a shredder box with a sharp blade. Walking through that hard, refining journey opened my eyes to the fact that everything I was turning to in a time of stress was an area I had not fully surrendered to Jesus. Satan had a foothold. I stand 5 feet 1 inch in stature and have a very petite frame. I’m not overweight by any definition of the word. But I had a problem. There was something that I had not fully surrendered— my health. In my case, it was not a weight problem. It was not a lack of commitment to the gym problem. It was not a self-image problem. It was not even an eating problem. It was a self-control problem. And it was manifesting itself in what I was putting into my body and how little self-care I was doing for my body. “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” I Corinthians 6:19 I love how John Piper explains it so simply. He says self-control implies that our ‘self’ produces desires we should not satisfy but instead ‘control.’ I was giving into my selfish desires. When my kids were cranky, my husband’s illness was progressing, my work was busy or my countertop was so filled with medical bills that there was no more space, you know where you could find me? Running to food for comfort instead of Holy Spirit. You know where you would NOT find me? Training my body to be equipped for the work the Lord had in front of me. Our society just fed the lies. And I fell for the words of the enemy. I believed that when anxieties or fears overwhelmed me, I could give in to the desires of my flesh. I could turn to something other than Jesus. The world offers us ample opportunities to abuse our bodies. And most of it is socially acceptable. Scripture uses “fruit” to help us understand what the Holy Spirit will produce if He’s alive in us. When we are running toward our own actions, goals, and thoughts, the Holy Spirit cannot produce those GOOD fruits in us. It's really easy to believe that joy, peace, and patience- and even kindness, goodness, and gentleness are enough to show the Spirit is bearing fruit in us. I quickly realized I was looking to the left and to the right to determine that. Our vision can be so distorted when we are not fixing our eyes on the Perfecter of our faith. What I realized was that without self-control, I could not truly bear those other fruits. So now I had identified my problem. But I’m a solutions-oriented Enneagram 1 and I needed an action plan. The problem? I told you— my plan had failed a gazillion times before. It was going to require the reinforcements. You know? Those people the Lord places in your path that you KNOW will hold you accountable. I swallowed ten tons of pride and opened my messages app as I began to explain to a handful of friends that I was REALLY struggling with self-control in the area of my health and needed to be held accountable. I needed them to check in with me- and check in with me often. And that they did. It’s been 10 months and some of those friends are still encouraging me in this! Have I tackled this perfectly? Nope. Have I struggled? Yep. Have I made progress? Tons. Shocking news everyone. When you get control of your health, you feel better. You feel a lot better. And you have the energy to do the work the Lord has laid in front of you. In my case, the work has looked a lot different than I would have chosen. But you know what? Hebrews 13 reminds me that He EQUIPS us for every good work so that we can accomplish what is pleasing in HIS sight. Here’s what I have come to realize— I could have eaten healthier and stayed committed to the gym WITHOUT dealing with my self-control problem. I may have outwardly felt different, but the brokenness would have remained. If we do not fill the gaps left from removing our sin with the Holy Spirit, they’ll be filled with something else- and odds are- it will not be from above. Self-control was not easy for me 10 months ago and it is not easy for me today. Maybe your health is not the stronghold the enemy has over you. Because we live in a broken world, I would dare to guess that you have your own area where you are giving into your own desires rather than leaning into the Spirit for control. As we begin this year, I challenge you to lean into the One who can replace the filth with something more beautiful than you could imagine. Walk the journey of purification in Christ and be blessed by the GOOD FRUIT HE OFFERS. -Tiffani ***My prayer is that you do not read this with the ears that hear I have all of these things figured out- to be honest, I have very little figured out in life. I continue to work to remove the excess filth that creeps into my heart. I continue to struggle with chasing after my own selfish desires and the things of this world. I have not “arrived” anywhere except in the knowledge that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I pray we can journey together in the Spirit as we walk heavenward bound. … [Read more...]
Finding Hope in the Collision
It's all wonderful. Two baby boys 15 months apart. A little girl home and thriving after a 4 year adoption journey. They're now 3, 5 and 6. I'm the soccer, baseball, basketball and gymnastics mama I always dreamed of being. My house is a good kind of loud. The kind that has a revolving door of kids in and out with belly laughs and cries from skinned knees. My community- they're the best. Seriously. My "people" constantly help me without me asking. They drop paper products at my door to spare me of my beloved chore- the dishes. They pray over me. They chauffeur my kids. They cheer for me. It's JOY. Pure joy. My life is pure joy. It's crazy. Working full time. Paying the bills. Managing the house. Managing the lawn. Keeping up with the practice and game schedules. Attempting to stay on top of my husband's constant health battles. Trying to love myself and all the people that need to be loved- well. It's CHAOS. Pure chaos. My life is pure chaos. It's a constant battle. How do I reconcile the tumutulous life with the joy in my heart? How do I consistently keep that joy without being being dragged into a downward spiral where I can't see past my circumstances? I am no expert, Biblical theologian or teacher, but here is what I have come up with. HOPE. It's the four letter word where our worlds of joy and chaos can collide and still point us to the cross. Hope is the space where we can walk through the valleys and stand in the pits without being swallowed up. I've read this story a hundred times. And I've noticed this aspect of the story multiple times. But until you're standing in the midst of the pandemonium, there's little appreciation for this: '“Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!” Daniel 3:25 If Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had only fixed their eyes on getting out of the fire and the chaos that surrounded them, they would have been standing at the edge waiting to be rescued. What a gift they would have missed in the fourth body walking around in the fire with them! God never left them in the fire. He crawled right in that pit with them. But here’s the part I miss SO often: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego also chose to walk in the fire WITH God. They fixed their eyes on the HOPE set before them. Tomorrow is a new year. This means people will be crowding my area of the gym, consuming less M&Ms, reading the first few chapters of Genesis, making new household rules and cleaning out all the old toys. We hope to shed the pounds. We hope to gain knowledge. We hope to do better this year. We hope to make our lives better. Even if we follow through with these past week one, these are not the hopes that will sustain us. Our hopes for the new year will not give you the strength to walk through the chaos while clinging to the Savior. “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” Hebrews 12:2 As you start this year and as I launch this site, my prayer for you my friends, is that together we cling to the HOPE that will allow us to walk with Jesus in the collision of the joy and the chaos. - Tiffani … [Read more...]